May 21 2008
About
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Reminiscing - I was a romantic by nature and I must admit that the warm feeling of romance is still alive and well within me. The childhod infatuation I had for my cousin, led to marraige and divorce between the ages of 24 and 41. Our relationship spanned 6 years of courting, 17 years of marraige and continues after 13 years of divorce. I was first attracted to my former wife at the age of 14 and we were engaged to be married at the ages of 21 and 19 respectively. We were nearly 24 and 22 when married and our first daughter was born in 1980, when I was 26 and she was 24. For the sake of social ties I guess, our marraige disintegrated. Though our daughter was instrumental in bringing about a degree of reconcilitaion between us, her relationship with me was not fully restored. However I think her relationship with her mother has healed and grows.
I grew up in a home where our parents were divorced. My father died when I was 8. I was the youngest in a family of 4. I have 2 elder brothers and an elder sistrer. My mother re married and she bore a son 11 years after I was born. I feel my step father gave us more than we could have expected, in maintaining the living standards we enjoyed when my parents were together. He was a very close friend of my father, whose Italian born wife had passed away from complications with her womb many years before my father.
My step father worked on a large coconut plantation private estate in Marawilla Sri Lanka and was instrumental in inspiring me to desire an out door career such as planting, between the ages of 12 and 18. I studied at Trinity College in Kandy, a Church of England Christian Missionary Society founded, secondary education boarding school, whose farm master a Bsc holder, also motivated my focus toward animal husbandry, poultry and agricultural pusuits. This ambition of mine was not fully accomplished but I switched to seeking white collar employment in the private sector in Colombo.
Three decades later and having swung to and from either end of the prosperity austerity pendulum our stepfather died two weeks after my daughter was born in 1980. My mother died 18 years later, after suffering stroke and paralysis for over 10 years, post open-heart surgery. This despite a successful operation in India. Mother lost her speech, was unable to write and needed assistance to walk for the most part of her remaining life. It was her wish never to be socially dependant or become a burden to her family in her old age but I am personally glad she accepted our love in doing things for her, in whatever condition she was. We are now passed the fourth and fifth decade of pendulum swings but before the current age and particularly since 1990, I spent more time with my mother. For a while, we lived together again on and off. We prayed together, I related stories to her and she would become emotional. We ate together, visited family and friends together and sometimes even fought together. I am sorry though, we could not finish our story together. Yet, there are people who are left behind, with whom we can piece together, little bits of information, to complete our story, which would otherwise be lost forever, by people who are not intrigued with us, or when we too have gone ahead. My dad, stepfather, uncles and aunts, plus numerous others prioritized life issues sufficiently well, even if that meant giving-up their own lives in the process. Regrettably, though, we could not build a strong community, nor find gainful permanent employment for all.