random thoughts…from steven

These days if you are not online, you are definitely out of the game – meaning, you are pretty much out of the real world. Ironic isn’t it, since one would think the world we live in is the real world and the other the virtual world. But I think the lines have blurred and the real world, is really in between – one that has us living partly online and partly offline.

Think about it for a moment, where do most of us go to search for anything? The internet has become our yellow pages, our encyclopedia, our dictionary…I could go on, but in short, it’s our window to the world both literally and metaphorically.

On Tuesday, we had a chat with Scott Goodstein on the show and he is one of the guys who helped run Barack Obama’s online presidential campaign. And we all know how Obama’s presence online really gave him an edge over John McCain. It was new school vs old school and new school won big time. The difference he said, was that Obama was the one who wanted to get “online” so instead of just having a passive presence online, it became an active tool to engage people. And boy, did it work!

I am somewhere in the middle in terms of my “online-ness”. I’ve got this blog, I’m on facebook and I did register for twitter but I have yet to really get into it. The blog is fine because it’s still very much about writing which I like. Facebook is fun and great for connecting with old friends (plus the additional voyeuristic reward of knowing about other people’s lives). Twitter – well, I can’t find it’s appeal or maybe it’s just that I still want to have some semblance of a private life.

 But I can see the benefits of this for politicans. A quick check of Obama’s facebook account (of which he has many) and he’s got over 6 million fans on just one of them! One post there and he instantly reaches 6 million people. And these are not just 6 million random people, these are 6 million who want to know what you are doing, who are already “fans”. That means your message definitely gets heard. Now what other media out there can guarantee you such an audience.

Singapore is slowly opening up to this idea of politics online. The government is concerned because they know there is no way to truly control it and they also can’t prevent it. So it’s either join them or ban them, the latter losing you votes along the way of course and being unrealistic (how do you ban the internet?)

It doesn’t have to be such a scary thing though. For a long time I had stayed off blogging, but now that I’ve got the hang of it, I actually quite enjoy the experience and recognise the usefulness of such a tool. I also used to think you could not control what comes out on the internet and now I know it’s true. The difference is that I now understand that people are able to discern between what is meaningful and what is rubbish. So it doesn’t matter so much that rubbish gets written because it’s doesn’t get an audience. People only listen to those who don’t talk rubbish. So there isn’t a need to fear the medium, but there is a need to embrace it and to learn how to use it to your advantage.

 The way I see it, for the next elections in Singapore, it is the contender who is media savvy that will have the ultimate edge. Politics is a game and being a good person with a good heart is only half the battle won. So isn’t it time you got fully connected? 

I first started keeping a diary while I was in university in Vancouver. I guess it largely came about as a result of being in a brand new country with no close friends. So since I’m the “talkative” type and often need an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings, writing it down just made sense. I’m glad I embarked on that because it’s amazing to see how things turn out later. Now when I go back and read snippets here and there from those years in university, so many memories come rushing back into my head. It’s a wonderful feeling and you find yourself smiling since you now know the consequences of certain things that were done.

Sometimes you look back and realize just what a fool you were and sometimes you look back and see how all the signs were pointing you one way and yet for some reason, you just kept going the other way. And sometimes, or for me, most times, it just showed how immature I was. It’s true what they say about age giving you wisdom, it’s so true. But I guess you have to be older to see the wisdom of that and that’s why the young will never believe it.

These days though I have to admit that the entries into my diary are far less frequent. There is less youthful anguish to share since most of the days are filled with very practical chores. And it’s easy to get “distracted” by all the things around us, so much so that you neglect taking the time out to just reflect on what’s happening in your life.

But I am inspired to keep my diary going and that’s partly due to one man. My father in law. He turns 94 this year and he keeps a diary. We’d go out for dinner at a restaurant and upon returning home, he would pen it all down. What we did, what we ate, where we went. I think this diary has helped him keep his mind sharp and it helps fill the pockets of forgetfulness that becomes more frequent with age. At 94, his mind is still as clear as ever. That is not by chance, that is because he makes it a point to use it each and every day.

Such discipline is something many of us in the younger generation lack. The discipline to adhere to certain principles and values. I know I have guilty many a time of slipping by the wayside and allowed things to happen even though they went against my principles. But that’s another story for another time.

So back to why I like keeping a diary. Well, just look at our lives today. I mean, really…just think about it for a moment. Isn’t there a whole bunch of stuff you would like to “remember” in your old age? Aren’t there experiences you’d like to share with your grandchildren? Aren’t there moments in your life where you have doubt in what you are about to do next? Isn’t it great to be able to look back and see how things turned out?

There are so many things we do in our daily lives and there are so many experiences and memories that we form. It would be a waste if they were all just forgotten with time.

So on that note, I’m going to keep my diary going and I hope you do too. Plus, someone gave me a new idea recently. Write a letter to your child. I think it’s a great idea and I’m going to write a letter to Lucy every year and maybe, just maybe I’ll share them with her one day. 

On a few occasions I’ve written some comments about my experiences in Singapore’s military. And over time I’ve noticed that this is one topic that is close to the heart of many Singaporeans. I guess the fact that it is mandatory for all Singaporean males does make it a hot topic. 

In fact, a recent comment did ask for my opinion as to whether I think National Service in Singapore should be mandatory or voluntary for both males and females. And I thought it interesting enough to share my views on that…

Let me say outright that I don’t think there is a right or wrong to this. It works for some countries and not for some. And I think it’s important to differentiate the two. Mandatory service means you have no choice, you are recruited into it by law and not going would mean breaking the law. Voluntary on the other hand means you can choose to sign up and it means you would make this a career choice and it would essentially become your “job” compared to just “service” for those 2 years (and the 2 weeks of reserve training each year).

That out of the way. I would say mandatory national service has worked for a country like Singapore. Here are some reasons why I think so.

First I would argue that Singapore is so small and so we cannot in all practicality rely on just a career army. There literally aren’t enough people in the country to allow the nation to have both an effective military and a robust economy. We must protect our own people with our own people at the helm.

Secondly, the army was for me a great learning experience. Having grown up in what I believe is a “very sheltered” Singapore, it gave me a chance to meet other chaps from all walks of life and to learn many life skills. Many of us grown up knowing only certain groups of people, but once in the military, it’s a melting pot and you learn just who are the guys you can truly rely on.

Thirdly, it really gave me a chance to build some very strong bonds with the guys I served time with. For almost a year we were together 6 days a week, 24 hours a day. You either got along or you learnt to get along. At the end of it, you cannot help but know each other very well. And there are many friendships I delveloped there which are still strong till today.

As for women being made to go full time in the military…I don’t think this needs to happen. One could argue that they would also benefit from the same experiences (as I mentioned above), it’s true, but I think it’s better that they spend their time in other areas. It is a unique quality that makes a woman suitable for military service and from a general point of view, most women do not have that quality. And that’s great because it means they can excel in other areas, so once again a balance of nature occurs.

So yes, my experience in the military was fulfilling but I believe that is largely because I chose to make it so. It’s up to every individual to either make the most or the least of it. So it can be a waste of time or it can be a great learning experience. It’s a personal choice.

Howdy folks…yes this update is long overdue.

I’ve been away from work for over a week now because I’m doing my military reservist training. In Singapore, this happens about once a year where they call us back for about 2 weeks to “refresh” our minds so that we don’t forget what we are doing in the military world. 

It’s kind of fun actually and usually it’s a great time of catching up with old friends. This time though I’ve joined a new unit and am currently attending a training course. So it’s back to school once more and boy…has it been tough. My guess is that they tried to fit a few months worth of work into a 2 week course so you can imagine the kind of crash course we are literally going through. But it’s been good, somehow when you are forced to learn quick, you usually do, guess it’s the whole sink or swim concept.
What I also really enjoy about these yearly “retreats” is the chance to hang out with the guys and to see the world from another point of view. You see, military life is just so different from the world outside. They have their own way of doing things in pretty much everything they do. And when you come in from the outside, it takes a bit of time to re-adjust. A lot of times, you find yourself fighting it because “their” way of doing things just seems so counter productive. For example, you work on something and you are told of all these processes and templates you have to go through and fill out.  It’s like you have to go through 10 steps to achieve something when it could probably have be done in 5 steps. So the thinking part of you fights it and keeps asking why.  Then a few days later when you are more ingrained into the system, you begin to understand why it requires 10 steps. You may not agree with it, but you realize whey it’s not done in 5 steps. Anyhow the joke is that even if you could do it in 5 steps, the military would probably expand it to 10 because “complicated is good and simple is bad”. After all, how can I show you how “smart” I am if it was that easy to achieve what I did!

But don’t get me wrong, it’s not all like that. Many within the military are trying to change that old school of thought. They understand the need to adopt the change, to move with the times and to skip unnecessary “showmanship” steps that are really just there for show. But they have a tough fight because they fight a system that is built on rhetoric and hierarchy. The military works on a top down approach and that is unlikely to ever change. It can’t because that’s what makes it the military.

Well, I’m down to the last 2 days of the course. We wrap up on Friday and it’s back to the real world on Monday. I must say it’s been a wonderful learning experience. Though we keep complaining about it (you have to, it’s like a requirement for men in the reserves to do so), I can tell that the guys (about 20 of us) have had a fruitful experience. We’ve learnt more than we thought we would and for me that is the best takeaway from it. So if any of you who taught the course get to read this, I say…thanks guys!

That’s it. Now you know where I’ve been. Thanks for the comments and the emails, keep them coming in!

If you are on facebook, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The rules are simple. Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged and you have to tag the person who first tagged you.

So all of a sudden I’m learning 25 things about many, many people. Some people I know well, others not so much. And let’s just say it has been interesting. In some cases for folks I don’t know too well, it almost felt like I had learnt too much about that person, or at least more than I really needed to know. On the other hand for friends who are closer, it often gave me a deeper insight into their lives and sometimes a understanding of why certain things happened.

Yet the bigger story here is more the attitude we’ve taken to social networks such as facebook. Ask your parents and they’ll say it’s crazy that one would want to share so much information about themselves, often with people they don’t even really know. Even before facebook, there were blogs and already, many were asking why anyone would want to read about “your” life when they don’t even know you.

We live in a very different world from our parents (or anyone who is now above 50 for that matter). The way we interact with each other has changed drastically. Think about it for a second. How many of us make it a point to catch up with friends “face to face” on a regular basis? And why not? Well, because it seems like we are already constantly in touch with them. For example, you can see their status updates on facebook, then there are those brief moments of conversation via MSN chat and then there is of course email which would now seem like the snail mail of the cyberworld. So why then would you ever need to see someone face to face? Just to hold hand? And yes, I believe that wanting to hold your girlfriend of boyfriend’s hand is a good reason to meet up. But seriously with such connectivity, are we then less connected on a personal level?

If you’ve read enough of my posts, you’ll realize that I have a thing about relationships. To me they are very important because our lives are made up in a large part by the people around us. It is this interaction on a daily basis that really shapes much of our life and in turn we do the same for them too. So even though you’re “in touch” with your friends online, do you really know how they are feeling? Can you truly say you “were there” for your friend when they were in need? For instance, can you recall the last time you just sat together with a close friend knowing full well that they were feeling sad and that just being there was the support they were looking for? Or those times when you just wanted a big hug from someone because no words could explain what you were feeling. How can a real hug be the same as a poke on facebook? The way I see it, these are the special moments in life that no amount of connectivity in the world can give us.

Be that as it may, I’m still like everyone else, I still can’t leave home without my mobile phone and I still check my email everyday. Yes, I still like being connected but I also make it a point to hug my kid at least once a day. That hug is electrifying and gives me a new lease of life to make it through another day.