The Skeptical Optimist

It’s obvious that one of the most crucial factors in the annual drive to drum up patriotism is the National Day theme song. Growing up in the 80s and early 90s the ones that have really stuck in my head have those punchy sing-along choruses: think “Count on me Singapore”, “We are Singapore….” and “Home” (which I happen to think is the most successful in the ratio of cheesiness to ability to move). I look back with amusement and nostalgia when I think about how we used to mangle the words and melody as we enthusiastically or sometimes only dutifully sang along.

Catchy music coupled with skilfully written lyrics go a very long way in producing a heady mix of heart swelling emotion and inexplicable pride. Successful timing in the planning of the National Day Parade show is also very key in producing a sort of tears welling up – wave of emotion that keeps those crowds balloting and queuing up for tickets every year. It is a “show” after all – a show of how we feel about our country, something that is kept fairly quiet the rest of our year.

One of my memories of covering the parade as a reporter is standing in the bleachers of the old National Stadium as the last spectacular burst of fireworks and music gave way to the opening strains of the national anthem. I turned to a colleague, who gave me a look that said “I know exactly how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking”. You couldn’t help but feel that surge of emotion that singing the anthem and reciting the pledge after all the fanfare and bombast. But I was also aware at that moment that the reason why these words seem to strike some primeval chord in my head was because of the 16 years of prior conditioning that had me singing and reciting these words every single school day of my life. It was a very strange sort of double awareness.

Not having had to sing the anthem or recite the pledge for some years now, I’ve been able to take a clearer, more objective look at this engineering of national pride. (Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of Singapore – of its achievements and of its efficiencies. There is also nowhere else in the world that I would rather just wander around small HDB shops and sit down at a coffeeshop for some noodles…) But somehow, it’s the heavy handedness with which we sometimes find ourselves being told to be patriotic, to be proud, to remember a certain kind of history, that I find myself recoiling from.

So a particularly interesting thing for me this year was finding out that the National Day theme song was by local band Electrico . I can see where this idea to get an “indie” band to write the song came about – it’s really an attempt to engage a segment of the population – who like me – has become more wary of this whole top down approach to national feeling.

So how successful is it? I’m really not sure… yes it captures a certain Coldplay-lite moodiness and angst but I’m not sure it’s for me. I think one of the prerequisites of a successful National Day song is whether the crowd can easily sing along to it. So there we go, I don’t see many people who aren’t auditioning for Singapore Idol going for the slightly more complex melodies and key signatures in this particular piece. Also, while it’s not exactly obnoxiously prescriptive – I’m really not sure what it’s trying to say: what do you see?

Well, if I am ambivalent about this year’s song – one thing I am not ambivalent about is this parody version by our local internet satirist Mr Brown.

Even though Mr Brown has been “co-opted” into this year’s National Day Parade – I still really enjoyed his spoof. From the use of Ah Beng Hokkien to the familiar car-centric gripes, it’s difficult not to relate to the song. Plus, brownie points for his not so subtle poking fun at the essentially meaningless art direction of an alternative music video.

In my mind, this is the spark of hope for our attempts to create and cement a national identity: humour. As a country, we really need to learn to laugh at ourselves and at the powers that be. I don’t mean a comedic, slapstick, low-brow sort of humour- but an intelligent, knowing and engaged humour. One that sees bureaucratic attempts at foisting patriotism onto its citizenry for what they are and that takes everything with a pinch of salt. Note, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be proud of Singapore – but that we should be completely aware of what we are proud of and how it is not really connected to repeated singing of national day songs or even a spectacular fireworks display.

Tags: Electrico, Mr Brown, music, national day parade, national day songs, patriotism, Singapore

Can I just say? I am addicted to this ongoing live broadcast of Obama’s inauguration festivities… it really feels like we’re watching history in the making. And I can’t help but feel happy for Americans, this represents so much in terms of what has gone before in their history and there seems to be so much joy and optimism in the air, in spite of everything. Can one person, one man change, if not everything then at least a lot? Or at least set things on the right path?

We can only hope so.

Tags: historic, inauguration, obama

In an age of inexplicable natural disasters that inflict unthinkable devastation like tsunamis and earthquakes, it seems almost crazy that humans should continue to fight against each other, killing sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, cousins, grandparents. Each day that I’ve read the news over the past 3 weeks or so, I’ve been confronted by tragic and often horrific footage coming out of the Gaza strip: badly injured children being rushed out of ambulances into poorly equipped hospitals, bomb ravaged landscapes, grief-stricken mourners at funerals, bloodied corpses wrapped in shrouds lined up in endless rows. You see a lot of tragedy and pain in a lot of news footage and after a while you sort of desensitize yourself as a means of self-preservation. Somehow though, as a mother perhaps now, I find it very difficult to get over what’s happening in the Gaza strip.

This is not meant to be a polemic about who’s to blame in the complex quagmire that is the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and I don’t even know how to begin to think about solutions for the violent impasse that has been going on for decades. In my opinion, both sides of enough blood on their hands to launch any number of war crimes tribunals. In situations like these in any case, at this point, does it really matter who we point the finger at? Innocent civilians are caught in the crossfire and more die every day in the most terrifying ways that can be imagined. What must it be like to know that nowhere is safe? Especially if you’re a child and are even more sensitive to this lack of security?

In the news station we often get access to footage that is more explicit than we deem it fit to broadcast, often images that are too disturbing are edited out for the sake of the viewers. I’ve edited some of this footage, and a lot of what I’ve left out cannot even be described here. Very often we think of war and conflict as this abstract happening that’s far away, and paradoxically in this age of instant reporting, blogs and 24 hour network news, it’s sometimes both farther away and nearer.

How do politicians and army generals think of abstract “operations” and “missions” and “collateral damage”? All I can see is the too small limp bodies of children, carried barely alive by grief stricken, hollow eyed paramedics .

Tags: children, collateral damage, gaza, news, war

It’s been a long and eventful 2008. Just in general with prison breaks, larger than life political elections, devastating earthquakes, horrific terrorist attacks and of course an unthinkable financial meltdown. It’s been a busy year for the news business – which means not a good year for the world in general. Usually most people look forward to the new year as a chance to start afresh, do better and feel happier – somehow though 2009 appears to be viewed with some apprehension. This is one of the few times that a buoyant optimism hasn’t really been the mood for the new year.

For me, I feel that 2008 was the year the world sort of speeded up, with more intense news coverage, more internet connectivity and use, more of just everything. When you live in a fast-paced city like Singapore, sometimes we often forget to look back and reflect or even just hold on to the past.

My kids’ daycare is moving premises, and on the last day of their time at the old centre we went to pick the children up and I gasped because they had completely taken down every single piece of artwork, every last poster, photograph, set of shelves, divider, curtain – and just white washed the entire space. It was as if the last 2 years of my child’s life in school had been completely wiped out. I mean, sure they are going to a new swanky daycare centre, with brand new facilities et al. But it was the casualness with which they performed this move and erasure that really struck me. After all, a lot of us have the same experience in Singapore; I’m thinking of schools, workplaces, religious institutions and of course homes that have just disappeared off the face of island without much afterthought. I often wonder what this does to our sense of belonging and memory. Singaporeans are a pragmatic bunch, fundamentally, but these constant erasures have to affect us in some way.

(As I write, there are a few days left to the bulldozing of a large part of the Seletar Airbase, a place known for its colonial black and white houses, tranquil atmosphere and community life. Just another casualty of progress of course. Just another blip in our speeded up lives.)

So this new year – I say, be optimistic, look forward and try not to be too bogged down by worries and fears. But at the same time, take stock and remember to look back and appreciate the places, people, memories still around you… in many more ways than one, life is fleeting and there’s no point if it’s not lived fully.

Tags: 2008, 2009, hope, memory

We’ve just finished our live special for the US Presidential elections and I really did feel that in some small way that I was part of history. So much was riding on this election and it’s nice to know that in America, racial barriers have fallen somewhat and that there will be a black American First Family.

The one thing that really struck me the most was watching the President-elect stand on stage with his family and Joe Biden’s family  – here is the American Dream as imperfect as it may be in reality, brought to fruition. Just think of all the people who lived through segregation, discrimination and the legacy of slavery. It truly is an amazing time for them and for the future.

Tags: american election 2008, biden, first black president, obama

I remember how horrified I was personally when the United States re-elected George W Bush after what was in my opinion 4 years of incompetence. In the run up to the election, I thought there was no way this guy who had dodged the draft, lied about weapons of mass destruction, given tax breaks to the very rich (etc) could beat the Vietnam war decorated veteran, intellectually minded and stentorian looking John Kerry… of course I was wrong.

Let me be frank about my liberal bias here: I read the New York Times daily and subscribe to the New Yorker and it doesn’t help that I spent my formative college years in a fairly left leaning campus where Republicans were treated at best as oddities and at worst as crazed pariahs. Till now, every time I meet an out and out Republican who seems like a really nice reasonable person, I can’t help but wonder – how did you elect the guy who with one decision is responsible for so many American military deaths, maimed veterans, billions in US taxpayers money lost to corrupt war contracts and I’m not even going into the biggest tragedy of all: the unthinkable number of Iraqi civilian deaths and the equally unimaginable trauma that this 5 year conflict has brought to the Iraqis. But I digress. I’m sure everyone has their reasons, they’re just not transparent or readily understandable to me.

What I wanted to write about was the new frenzy around the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin. Apparently, “white women” (talk about the racist undertones here) are rushing in droves to support her, so much so that Barack Obama is down in the national polls.

Let’s look a little closer at her appeal here: she’s got that frontier, never say die mentality of the Alaskan moose hunter, plus she has 5 children, including a Down syndrome baby whose condition she knew of prenatally and a pregnant teenager who at age 17 is going to marry the father of the baby. I can see her appeal to conservatives: her steadfast pro-life stance and her insistence that evolution may not be the right thing to teach little children in schools. I respect opinions of this group of people, in so far that, this is consistent with their world view and they are voting as such, fair enough.

But for the rest of the womenfolk in the US, and let’s face it, McCain did not nominate Sarah Palin for her foreign policy or even national policy experience or for her ability to be a worthy commander-in-chief (being photographed in military uniform with the troops doesn’t count) if he has a bad biopsy. He nominated her to peel of some Hillary Clinton supporters who were on the fence about Barack Obama and to invigorate the Republican conservative base.

So that’s what makes all this talk about feminist power and identity politics stink. So ok, she’s a working mother – but as one astute American mother pointed out : there are quite a few jobs where you can successful “juggle a blackberry and a breast-pump” (and I would add a pregnant teenager and 3 other kids) but Vice-President is not one of them. I don’t care what sexist labels you throw on me, they don’t work. I am the working mother of 2 young babies and let me tell you, I’m not vice-president and it is not at all easy. Multiply the responsibilities and consequence of my work a thousandfold and you get Sarah Palin and it’s looking pretty scary. This is a woman who preaches abstinence, but not quite successfully to her daughter, and someone who took a plane trip to give a speech in spite of the fact that her amniotic fluid was leaking. She also knew that her teenage daughter was knocked up and decided to accept the presidential nomination in spite of the fact that Bristol would be exposed to relentless critique from the media. What kind of mother does that?

These are not sexist comments at all. While McCain campers might cry: you wouldn’t ask this of a man! Let’s see- how many men running for national office have more than 2 kids, any under 1 year and can even get pregnant while on the job? This is not about gender at all, this is about who is the more competent for the job and who is able to focus completely on the task at hand.

I find it frightening that some Americans want “an average, normal working mother/family” to be one step away from the White House. We want our leaders to be the best of us, not the mediocre. We want them to have gone to the best universities or have a long experience in national and foreign policy. Just because a politician can relate and empathise with the ordinary man, doesn’t mean that his political leadership will be the best for the middle class or the blue collar worker: just look at those segments under the Bush administration.

So it’s disingenuous when Palin talks about 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling and and insult to Hillary. If Palin shows up her inexperience, her potentially dishonest portrayal of her time as Alaskan governor and generally dumbs down the debate on foreign and national policy by launching meaningless attacks on her opponents, then I would argue that glass ceiling is going to be much thicker than it was when we started in this American election season. And in the end, this ceiling is just in our minds, we should be electing people based on ability, vision and honesty not race, gender and political affiliation.

Tags: palin, politics, republicans, working mothers

In Singapore, when I tell most people that I’m 28 this year and have not one, but two young children, I’m usually greeted with gasps of surprise and disbelief. I know I buck the demographic trend here; most of my peers are either single or of late, married without children, with no plans to have any soon.

There are many reasons for this, especially from the women’s point of view. It just isn’t really possible in most cases to juggle work and childbearing and rearing without paying the price for it – either in time for yourself, your spouse or your ambitions. In my opinion, the government’s recent fairly generous reform of maternity benefits, childcare leave and tax rebates to encourage couples and especially working women to have children or have more children can only work in a limited way. What really needs to be addressed is work-life balance and how women pregnant or with children are treated at the workplace, in public and in private. Recent letters and articles in the papers like “Battering Ram or Stroller” really leave me wondering whether Singapore as a country is ready for a baby boom. After all, it takes a village to raise a child.

Sometimes when I read online or print responses of people who are unwilling to accord pregnant women at the workplace with benefits or feel that they should be penalised for taking time off work, I know for sure that they don’t know what it’s like to have a newborn, toddler, young child or even a teenager. No one, even parents themselves, can really tell you how hard the first few days. months and years are of bringing up a young child. No one can really describe not getting more than 2 hours of sleep at stretch for 3 months or how post-partum body chemistry is so volatile. No one tells you just how this new human being is completely dependant on you for everything, so much so that even if you forget just once to clip a fingernail or wipe a skinfold there will invariably be a scratched cheek or an unexplained rash. And no one can really convey what it’s like to have a child sick, wan, limp with a high temperature; or even the trauma of watching your careful doctor insert a needle that looks almost larger than a newborn’s vein into the tiny hand of your baby. Having children is a decision yes, but also a sacrifice, a challenge and an effort that definitely needs more than one pair of hands, or even two pairs of hands.

My own experience? Having two is more than enough for me at this stage in my life – maybe even for good. I’ve started giving away maternity clothes and baby wear to my friends and colleagues who are embarking on the brave new journey that is parenthood. I’m glad I made the decision to have my kids early; there are some things that I’ve definitely given up, like more of a nightlife or disposable income to do what I please with. But these are nothing compared to the pillowy cheeks and rascal grin of my 15 month old and the made-up songs of my 3 year old, sung at the top of his voice early in the morning. And they’re definitely nothing compared to the hug, kiss ritual at bedtime or the little voice calling out after me “Night Mummy, Love you Mummy”.

So why don’t I want anymore? I want to spend time with each of them individually, I don’t want to get a maid, and I want to get to know these little human beings that I made properly. The reality of the situation is, we have to be a two income family and I’m not sure that I’m cut out to be a stay home mother. Throwing more money at the situation won’t solve any problems, even giving more leave – which is the better of the two ideas. But really, what needs to change are the attitudes of the people around us, our colleagues, strangers on public transport and queues. In our get ahead or get left behind city, we need to stop feeling resentment for people who get different treatment for having children.

Tags: babies, children, government policy

While presenting the news we aren’t supposed to usually editorialise or take political stances – but on the blog, I figure I’ll just come out and say it, I’m fairly pro-Obama and to my knowledge, a lot of my friends and colleagues are too. In fact, I recently took a class in my master’s degree in NUS where I ended up writing a paper on Obama’s memoir and speeches and how he has crafted a certain narrative and image for himself that is truly unlike any other politician white or black.

But, my political leanings aside, it’s been really interesting (and sometimes truly frustrating) to see how the media coverage of the American election in the US has played out. With embedded reporters with mini-cams in each campaign, every gaffe, every slip of tongue has been magnified and analysed and played again and again ad nauseum. Whether it’s Bill Clinton’s faux-pas or Obama’s “elitist” comments it’s all been fed to the beast that is 24 hour cable news network. I think that has really changed the tenor of the race. The other major factor of course has been video sharing websites like Youtube …. arguably more and more people are turning to new media to get their news. The striking thing is, how all this has had the power to change the image of a politician so drastically. Watching Hillary Clinton go from the presumed front-runner in the race, to the media’s sometime portrayal of her as a power-hungry political has-been was really bizarre. As was Obama’s fall from grace as the golden boy of new politics whom no scandal or partisan politics could touch. As one New York Times article put it, his feet have been “bloodied” like a marathon runner – and it really wasn’t just Hillary Clinton’s doing but the intense scrutiny of the media as well.

Taking this in from the position of the news reader is a different experience – you watch the news unfolding, you convey it as best you can, and sometimes you wonder what role you play in all this, whether you are at all guilty of any “spin”, whether anyone at all can be innocent and free from it. Something to ponder…

Whatever it is, it’s going to be a very interesting Presidential campaign and contest – let’s just see how the Americans rise up to the occasion.

Tags: clinton, obama, US elections