Aug 07 2008
Others
It’s 2 days to National Day and my elder son Luca has been asked to lead the pledge taking ceremony for his daycare’s national day celebrations. They were looking for a multi-racial contingent and my son was chosen because he fits into the category of “others”.
My children are half Italian and half Singaporean and from the time we had to fill in their details on the birth certificate forms till now, we’ve been struggling with how they fit into these unwieldly categories. Technically they aren’t Eurasian because their dad isn’t, so for now they are just in the hold all category of “others”. Then there’s the matter of ethnic costumes… every time Racial Harmony Day rolls around, we always get requests to dress Luca in a national costume. My husband makes a funny face and wrinkles his brow, but no good Sicilian national costume comes to mind, so one year he went in a Thai outfit, and this year we are debating between a Punjabi suit and an Italian soccer jersey….after all, they didn’t really specify whose national costume.
But I have to say, when we think about the list of countries we could see bringing up the kids in, Singapore always ranks pretty much near the top. It’s hard to find a country that accepts biracial or multiracial kids with no questions asked, with hardly a second look. Perhaps it’s because we are ultimately a nation of migrants, travellers, post-colonials, expats and converted heartlanders. I say converted heartlander thinking of my husband who has learnt how to negotiate the public transport system, knows the difference between a five room improved and five room advanced flat and enjoys durian and claypot rice. Most of all though, he’s started to see this as a second home - coming back from Italy the other day he mused that he was strangely happy to see Changi airport.
It’s different in Italy where a lot of emphasis is placed on a homogeneous Italian culture and race. There, foreigners are still often viewed with apprehension and skepticism. I remember the first time I went to the smallish town where my in-laws stay and how I nearly caused a little boy to fall off his bicycle because he had never seen a Chinese woman before. I think some of the people we encounter in the supermarket still think I’m the domestic help! And while mixed marriages like ours are on the rise, they aren’t viewed with the same acceptance as they are here.
Of course, it hasn’t always been a bed of roses - we’ve had our lot of bureaucratic problems and people who think all women who marry foreigners are sarong party girls! But by and large, most of the people I meet are happy for us and for our children, that they get to have unique views and insights to two cultures. For show and tell at Luca’s daycare recently, we sang some Italian songs to Luca’s class and it was great to share something different.
I produced an interview with overseas Singaporean author Wena Poon the other day on Primetime Morning and a term she used really struck me. She talked about “larger Singapore”, about enlarging the physical borders of Singapore to include those Singaporeans who have made their lives overseas. For me, I would include the Singaporeans who have chosen to enlarge our perceptions of country and belonging even from within our borders. Whatever happens, I’m sure that my sons will always be able to call this island home.
3 responses so far
Joanne Leow is a producer-presenter with Channel NewsAsia. She is married with 2 young sons and spends her free time reading, writing, swimming, doing yoga and cooking up a storm.
Your child is a ‘Eurasian’.
Eurasian, at least when referring to people rather than geography, is a general term for people and ethnic groups of mixed European and Asian ancestry, regardless of continent of origin.[5][6][7][8][9]
Hi Joanne,
I read your latest blog entry with much interest, as recently my partner and I have been discussing about the prospect of having children. I’m Malaysian while my partner is Greek-Austrian-Caucasian-Russian (Europe’s intricate history!) but we have been living all over the place that we are not able to call a single place “home”. Right now, both of us are working and living in Singapore where we had spent a considerable time in in the past. Similarly, Singapore ranks up there when it came to “where to educate the children”, “where would be safe for kids” and most importantly, “where children of mixed heritage will be most accepted”.
I understand that being a asian-european couple can be tricky at times. There has been many an undesirable incident when i was openly “discriminated against” in both Europe and Asia, either because I am an asian or because i was dating a european. I would walk through the supermarket with him and thought, “i must look like a domestic helper or a mail-order bride.” With age and life experiences, it actually began to bug me more, knowing that it is unnecessary particularly in this increasingly globalized world, where borders have been blurred and we’re creating new “mixed nationalities” all the time.
We have also wondered what languages our children would learn and speak - English, Mandarin, German, Malay or the list goes on. Where will home be? Malaysia, Greece, Austria or wherever it is they will grow up? I haven’t thought of the national costume question yet, but i figure i could just dress them up in halloween costumes all year. Less the complication, double the fun!
I have come to believe and agree that home is where the heart is. And with more and more mixed couples and fancifully concocted “cocktail children”, the world will become more and more interesting.
Regards,
Shyn Yee
Very nice posting. It is very interesting. Your child is very cute.
Thanks